Dear God,

I envy Jorge because you gave him a call. A calling, if you prefer that. I know that in one way, you have given him a whisper or a kalabit to tell him how much you want him to write for you.

You did not call me. Jorge did.

In my desperate attempts to be creative, I have been looking at "life" in different perspectives, just as another worldly human being might do likewise. They say that it's one very thick book that you've written for me, I don't buy it. Books, more often than not, are boring.

You see, people try to play God. They want you to stoop down to their level and see you as someone who writes poems, sings songs, perform like you're in for some center-stage mockery. I like that idea. I see you as a playwright and I'm comfortable believing in that.

God, I have been a very, very, happy person lately. This drama that you've thrown me in, I'm enjoying it. I wonder how this scene would end, which characters will appear again, which will leave.



I see myself in movies, but you chose to put me on stage, I'm the actor who's in for mockery. I like that. The audience, they're noisy. The staff, they're nosy.

I thank you for very beautiful lines that make me stupid at times, but in a way or another, eventually make sense. I'm grateful for the stray cats and how they make my otherwise boring role a little more interesting. I thank you for a beautiful leading lady and how she becomes very, very interesting as well. Thanks for putting her ahead of me.

I like the musical score, though my leitmotif could be better. I envy other characters sometimes for that.

You see, you do not know everything. You just become too clever at times, saying that you know what's next when it's you who wrote this thing.

Please change the leitmotif when they're not looking.

Gift me with a new wardrobe, please. These haven't been washed for a long, long, time. It doesn't smell bad, but it doesn't smell good, either. These clothes make me sneeze.

Stop making me behave in the OC kind of way. It makes me blush with embarassment sometimes, though fine, this is my role. You're good at making people not complain.

Sometimes this whole thing makes me sick. But I love it. I like it when it feels just like the movies I see, the cheesy songs I sing, or just another performance that's meant to grab people's attention. I like being papansin. That's my role.

I like how my character grows in the same pace that I grow in, and how I'm always ahead of it. I just get carried away by its youthfullness, or sometimes he gets to excited of his actor's maturity.

I like how you've set up the stage. This mise-en-scene, it makes me look like I blend in the background, the colorful clouds and the rainbows. I feel like I'm stuck in a kindergarten drama and I'm loving it. (Maybe you can make me another kiddie costume just this once. One that would fit me, of course.)

Sometimes you give me props that I don't know what to do with. What the he-- heaven? can you please guide me sometimes? You see, I'm not very good at this, really.

The older actors, the veterans, my mentors, it hurts 'til now, you taking them away. I really miss them that it makes me cry.

I love how you've put me on the center. I love this whole soliloquy, this no one hears me thing. It makes waiting for someone to work with again worth the wait. However this scene ends I rejoice. However this whole thing ends I'm grateful.

Basta God, even though you know that I laugh at some people inside the church for being too cheesy with you, I believe in you, like Jorge, too.

An actor faithful to the role that you gave him,

Zyrael Genesis